During a year when everything changed and every day has felt the same, in no way did I see silver linings emerging from this moment. And yet, it's been one of those tough-love growth periods that seem to happen when real challenge is at hand.
With high expectations for a year to ride the momentum of my MFA degree, the screeching halt to all external markers of progress felt that much more impactful.
Without distractions to race to, one after another, sitting with the daily reality of simply showing up created space to acknowledge the uncomfortable: fear of falling behind, losing time, opportunities passing by.
And yet! There has been growth and good from it all, bone-deep in a way that feels life changing and enduring.
Looking back: silver linings
Kelly M O'Brien, Meadow With Four Rooms. Paper, thread, transfer print on unfired clay, wire, painted steel. Dimensions variable. ©2012-2020
This year has opened up significant shifts in how I see and approach my art practice. Let's call them silver linings, truly hopeful developments in an otherwise difficult situation. In addition to important basics such as staying healthy and feeling supported in ways large and small, they include...
Internalizing the difference between the steady grounded lift of healthy serotonin (rest, nutrition, exercise, lots of outdoor time, quality conversations, dancing, laughter) vs. the quick jolt of a dopamine high (social media, doom scrolling, chasing and striving). This shows up in and out of the studio as I try to make these choices central to what I do.
Commitment to a long-term art practice vs. performing for recognition or validation. Instrumental to this shift was reading Seth Godin's The Practice and re-reading Steven Pressfield's The War of Art. Also revisiting Julia Cameron's Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance.
Gratitude for what did happen: Lockdown Studies, which germinated ideas for a new body of work next year; opportunities to reconnect with UK artists through Somerset Reacquainted and IN:CH; staying connected with my German artist collective CKCK and the ongoing support of Galerie Uhn in Frankfurt; commissions and purchases through my wonderful network of fine art dealers and new collectors; being part of Artist Support Pledge a global project of artists helping artists; collaborating with talented glass artists Fiaz Elson and Sonja Klingler to test ideas and develop new work; Meadow With Four Rooms, a result of clearing out old work to make way for what's next.
Looking ahead: a precarious hope
Kelly M O'Brien, Lockdown Study 25 June 2020. Paper, glass, Jesmonite, wildflower, wool. 21 x 22 x 7 cm ©2020
I'll be honest, I really wanted to shake off this year and embrace the relief of a resolved US election cycle, new vaccines, a light at the end of the tunnel. But I'm not there yet. The calendar year and reality on the ground are not in sync to wrap things up neatly.
In my studio work, I'm thinking about the tensions between hope and precariousness, beauty and destruction, fragility and resilience, and the role of repair. These ideas have become central to my practice and I will continue to develop them in 2021.
It's tricky to anticipate projects that are lining up for next year. If they happen it will be joyful and if they don't, I'll be better prepared to ride it out than I was earlier this year. That said, I look forward to my first outdoor sculpture exhibition; a traveling group exhibition Inch by IN:CH throughout the southwest of England; a small group show, Materiality, in one of the loveliest spaces in Bath; the next phase of Somerset Reacquainted; getting to Lisbon for my PADA residency; getting out to see art and colleagues IRL; continuing to help my art dealers find solutions for their clients and projects.
And things I can't even envision right now, because that's what happens every year. To good things for you and yours in the year ahead!